Birthday Traditions 4
by Kate McCaye
Summary: Rating for a bit of language and some legal drinking, just to be sure. Year 4, slumber party SG-1 style. SJ of course.
1. The Dressing Room Conversation

A/N: So, the net result of the huge storm we had here last night and the fact that my dogs are terrified of storms is that I got no sleep at alland ended up writing... a lot, so this next installment is popping up a lot faster than I ever thought it would. My significant other is also on the verge of being murdered as well, as he spent all night blissfully snoring away and is annoyingly cheerful today. But that's neither here nor there, is it?

This is the fourth part of the series by the boring name "Birthday Traditions." It takes place, shockingly, during season 4 (coincidentally my favorite season of both Stargate and The X-Files.) You should probably read those first or this one won't make too much sense. Go ahead, it won't take long. Speaking of which, I noticed a huge error in Chapter 5 of Birthday Traditions 2, which has now been corrected. I somehow posted it with about two pages of missing dialogue at the front.

On with this show...

Birthday Traditions 4

Ch 1: The Dressing Room Conversation

Sam Carter sighed as she looked at herself critically in the mirror. "Cassie, I am not wearing this!" she called firmly.

"Let me see it!" Cassie called back in that bossy tone of voice that sounded so much like Janet it was freaky. Sam groaned and stepped out of her dressing room. "You look great, Sam! You're getting it."

"These jeans are so tight I can barely move!" Sam argued. "Plus they look like they've already been washed about a thousand times!"

"That's why they're so great," Cassie insisted. "Look, bend a little. Can you touch your toes in them?" Sam rolled her eyes and experimentally touched her toes and twisted around some. "There. Then they're not too tight," Cassie said matter-of-factly.

"This top is too short for these low pants," Sam argued, hugging the tiny half inch strip of skin that was exposed when she stood normally in the ridiculous outfit Cassie had picked out for her.

"Jack wants us all casual this year, this is definitely casual."

"Yeah, it looks like I borrowed this from you! Or a ten year old, Cassie, this tee-shirt is so small it's ridiculous, I'm thirt..."

"It looks good, Sam. And Jack's going to die, it's so funny..."

"Walking around with my CO's name plastered across my chest isn't my idea of funny, Cassandra Fraiser," Sam said firmly. "Whoever decided 'O'Neill' was a good brand name for this stuff should be shot," she grumbled, looking at herself in the mirror once more.

"Samantha Carter!" Cassie said, putting her hands on her hips and doing a perfect and conscious imitation of her mother. "If I hear one more word about that tee-shirt we are getting the tank top instead, young lady. You are getting that outfit AND you are wearing it tomorrow to your birthday party! Now move!" she said firmly, shoving Sam back towards the dressing room.

Grumbling, Sam started changing back into her own clothes, muttering, "Why the hell do I listen to you?"

"Because otherwise I might accidentally tell Mom and everyone else that last year at your birthday party I walked in on you and Jack making like bunnies in the ladies' toilet," Cassie called cheerfully.

"Right," Sam mumbled, pulling the way-too-small navy tee-shirt over her head and hoping she didn't get makeup on it in the process.

Cassie had manipulated both of them all year. She'd even got Jack to teach her to drive his truck, even though she was only fourteen and it was quite illegal. She'd also got Sam to take her to get her belly-button pierced, something Janet had thankfully not found out about yet.

Somehow, Sam still wasn't sure how, Cassie had also talked her into getting hers done as well. Not that she could wear a ring in it on base, it was completely against regulations and she wasn't about to get herself reprimanded for something like that, but still. It was there. Ninety-five percent of the time it had a clear plastic spacer in it to keep it from closing up rather than anything cute or decorative, but still. It was there.

And that wasn't it, by a long shot, but the belly-button thing had been the worst she'd done to Sam so far, and the truck thing had been the worst thing her CO had mentioned to her. "Don't forget," Cassie said as they headed to the cashier to pay for their purchases. "You're telling me _everything _that happens tonight," Cassie reminded her.

"I hope this amuses you," Sam said dryly.

"Oh, don't you worry your pretty little head about that, Sam. It does. Hey, look on the bright side," she suddenly added in a falsely bright tone. "Your dad and General Hammond won't be there this year, so you two can just drool over each other all night long."

"That's not how it is!" Sam insisted truthfully. It wasn't! Although Sam was relieved it was only going to be SG1 plus the Fraisers again this year. She just wasn't comfortable socializing with General Hammond. And Colonel O'Neill wasn't comfortable socializing with her dad, especially after the way last year's party had ended.

He still hadn't really told any of them what had happened in that meeting with General Hammond... and there had been a rumor going around base that her father had caught him up in the locker room before returning to the Tok'ra and there had been... words. He remained close-lipped about the whole thing. Not even Cassie had the guts to demand he fill her in on _those _two conversations. Yet.

Anyway, it was back to basics with the birthday traditions: a "quiet" evening at her CO's house. Nothing could be safer. She snorted in disbelief at her own thought. "Cassie this outfit is ridiculous," Sam tried once more. "I look like I just came from a car wash or something, I look like a..."

"Teenager?" Cassie supplied with a grin. "That's the idea, Sam. Besides, don't worry. You won't be wearing it long," she said innocently.

"Woa, what the hell does THAT mean?" Sam demanded.

"Oh, I happen to be the executive party consultant for tomorrow night's events is all. I know EXACTLY what's going to happen and believe me it is going to be a LOT of fun."

"Great," Sam muttered.

What could her CO possibly have needed Cassie's help with? This was going to be scary.


	2. Little TShirts

A/N: Wow, thanks guys! I'm really overwhelmed by the continued interest in this series.

Ch 2: Little T-Shirts

Jack O'Neill groaned as he made his seventh trip from his truck to his kitchen, loaded down with groceries. Cassie's list had been quite specific and he had no clue what they were going to do with all this sugary food. It was enough for the entire SGC, or enough to send four adults, one teenager and a Jaffa into diabetic comas.

Still, it had taken him a while to come up with a plan for the party this year, and once he'd picked his theme, he wanted to make sure he did it properly. Which meant he needed inside information. How else was he supposed to know how these things went? He had some ideas, of course, but he suspected they weren't entirely based in reality so much as sick male fantasy.

He put everything that required refrigeration away and looked at the clock, realizing he needed to hurry if he wanted to have all the decorations up.

-

Daniel and Teal'c were stood on her porch. Sam was glad they were picking her up; she'd be able to see their reactions to her outfit before she saw her CO's. She was fairly certain she could get by with putting another shirt or a sweater over her tee-shirt without Cassie spilling the proverbial beans. The kid wasn't _pure _evil, after all. She could always play the "It's my birthday" card.

She opened the door for her adopted 'brothers' somewhat nervously, with a too-big smile on. "Hey, guys. Thanks for picking me up!" she said brightly. "Come on in, I just have to grab my bag."

"Uh, Sam?" Daniel asked nervously after scanning her quickly and putting on a face that said he really wished he hadn't. "Why are you... you don't exactly look like yourself."

"I know. Cassie picked this out. She said going casual didn't mean I had to wear 'old people jeans and the same black tee-shirt I wear everyday.'"

"Well, that's true, but... are you sure that shirt is the best... choice? I mean, with the guy's name printed right across your chest it's like an open invitation for him to... look there." Daniel shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

Sam grabbed her overnight bag and headed for the door. "I know, Daniel, but Cassie can be... persuasive. Be honest though, does it... do I look bad?" She was unable to hide the apprehension from her voice.

"Daniel Jackson did not mean to imply that you look bad, Major Carter," Teal'c spoke up, glaring at the smaller man. "We were merely surprised because you do not usually wear such attire. I think you look very... youthful," he said tactfully.

"Thank you, Teal'c," Sam said sincerely, turning to Daniel.

He nodded. "You look great, Sam. Really."

"So do you," she added with a small smile. She hadn't failed to notice Daniel was wearing his best pair of jeans (the ones that she had once had to listen to Janet go on about for quite some time) and a rather tight tee-shirt himself, and although his was navy blue like hers, it did not say _O'Neill _across the chest. Now _that _would be funny, Sam thought, concealing a smile.

"Hey, you're wearing a belt!" she exclaimed in approval. He mumbled something to his shoes. "Bye, Quarks!" Sam called to her cat over her shoulder as she ushered the boys back outside and locked up.

On their way to the car, Sam patted him on the shoulder and led the way out to his car, remembering how embarrassed Daniel had been once when Cassie had taken it upon herself to inform him that unless his shirt was really, really long, he should always, always wear a belt.

"I like your tee-shirt, Teal'c," Sam said as they piled into the car. Not that Teal'c cared what anybody thought about how he dressed, of course. The clothes that he chose to wear when they were off-base pretty much spoke for themselves. Teal'c was sporting a Star Wars tee-shirt that featured the whole cast, poster-style, along with the logo for "Return of the Jedi." "That's my favorite one of the three too."

"Indeed. I find the Ewoks most entertaining," Teal'c said, smiling at her as Daniel started the car.

-

Jack opened his door widely and exclaimed, "HAPPY... oh, it's just you guys."

Both Fraiser women looked at each other and snorted. "Well, that's definitely one of the worst greetings I've ever received, how about you, honey?" Janet said to her daughter.

"Yup. Definitely the worst," Cassie agreed, folding her arms across her chest and looking at Jack pointedly. He rolled his eyes.

"Sorry, sorry. Glad you're here, all that stuff, get inside!"

They stepped inside and looked around in shocked surprise. "Uh, wow, Colonel, you went a little overboard on the decorations, don't you think?" Janet finally asked.

"This is exactly what I did the first year... oh yeah, you guys weren't there."

"Yeah, our invitations were lost in the mail apparently," Cassie said, pretending to be mad.

"Yeah, yeah. I didn't know if that one was gonna go well or blow up in my face and didn't want any extra witnesses. Why don't you guys go set your bags in the guest room?"

"I'll take them both," Cassie offered, grabbing her mother's small bag, as she had only brought her backpack.

"She's awfully cheerful," Jack commented as they watched her hurry up the stairs.

"Yes, it's got me a little worried to tell you the truth. She and Sam went shopping yesterday and ever since then she's been grinning like the cat that ate the canary," Janet supplied.

Jack handed her a cone-shaped party hat wordlessly. She eyed it, looking suddenly exhausted. Ignoring her, he put two on his head at the same time, like horns. She laughed and put her own on as well. "Did you do that the first year too?"

"Yup. And tonight we're definitely watching that tape, even if we have to tie up the birthday twins to get them to watch it."

"Oh, good, that'll be fun," Janet said appreciatively as her daughter clambered back down the stairs loudly.

"We're also making a new one. Teal'c and Cassie both wanted to. They're going to be switching off on still camera and video recorder duties all night," he continued, looking towards the front window expectantly as a pair of headlights pulled into his drive.

"You really put a lot of thought and planning into these, Colonel," Janet said, suddenly sounding far too sentimental for a birthday party.

"Yeah, keep it to yourself," he muttered.

She smiled at his back as she watched him hurry to the front door, waiting for the rest of his team to knock, with a party horn in his hand.

-

Sam and Daniel stood in front of Teal'c, who insisted on carrying both their bags as they were the "birthday male and female," in Teal'c's words. About a half second after Daniel rang the doorbell, their CO answered the door with a huge smile on his face and two cone-shaped hats on his head.

He blew a party horn loudly in their faces and yelled, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KIDS!"

Laughing, they let him pull them inside, an arm around each of them. Teal'c followed them in and set the bags down, shutting the door behind them wordlessly and helping Major Carter off with her coat while Daniel Jackson removed his as well. Teal'c watched O'Neill's reaction to Major Carter's unusual attire with great interest and amusement.

He had always been aware of the 'thing' they had between them, as Daniel Jackson always referred to their strange relationship. While he felt sorry for them for being unable to pursue the 'thing' between them, he mostly found situations such as this one highly entertaining.

Everyone was standing in a clump in the doorway of Jack's house. And everyone besides Jack and Sam was watching Jack look at Sam. Sam was even watching him watch her, as she had quickly realized they were the center of attention and she had nothing around her to pretend to be doing.

Jack, for his part, as soon as Teal'c had oh-so-politely helped her out of her jacket, had taken in the little navy tee-shirt with _O'Neill _printed across the chest in light blue letters with Hawaiian flowers, then glanced down, past the little strip of skin between the shirt and the tightest pants he'd _ever _seen her wear, and his eyes had come back up to the printing on her shirt and at that point had decided to set up camp for the night, apparently.

He knew he was staring. He knew everyone else was watching him stare. He knew Carter was probably staring, but for cryin' out loud, she'd picked the one night he always found it the absolute hardest to keep his eyes and hands off of her to show up in _that? _What the hell was she _thinking? _Something Janet had said earlier finally registered in his brain. Shopping with Cassie... He would bet anything if he turned to look at Cassie right now she'd have the biggest shit-eating grin of all-time on her face. However, his eyes told him in no uncertain terms that they would much rather look at Carter's chest than anything else at the moment.

Okay, maybe if he could get his mouth to obey, his eyes would follow suit. Swallowing hard, he cleared his throat and said, "Hap... happy birthday, Carter."

Yeah, okay, there was about a five second delay between his eyes and his mouth so the statement ended up being directed right at his own name, but he did eventually manage to get his eyes back up to her face. Mentally congratulating himself on accomplishing the task, he was relieved to find, when he met her eyes, that she wasn't mad. Amused and thoroughly embarrassed, yes, but not mad. Thank God.

"Thank you, sir," she said evenly, as though nothing unusual had happened. Hey, it sounded like a good plan to him. Full denial of the last minute and a half. Wouldn't be the first time. Carter walked past him to greet the Fraisers, which was good because it gave Jack a chance to breathe and clear his head a bit.

"You okay there, Jack?" Daniel asked cautiously.

"Yup. Peachy. You?" he asked enthusiastically.

"Fine," Daniel answered warily as Jack ushered both men into the living area. Cassie and Carter were talking quietly and Cassie's giggle was sounding so much like a cackle Jack's suspicions were confirmed. She'd done that to him on purpose, the little...

"O'Neill, where would you like us to place our gifts?" Teal'c asked.

"Oh, uh, that table over there," he instructed, waving in its general direction as he narrowed his eyes at Cassie from across the room, silently promising to get back at her later. She gave him a 'who, me?' expression and he rolled his eyes, wondering why in the hell he put up with all of Cassie's crap all year long.

He glanced back at Carter and she mouthed 'Sorry' and gave him a huge grin. Oh yeah, he thought as he returned the grin. That was why.

-


	3. Flirting with the Pizza Boy

A/N: This chapter is short and basically pointless, but my fiance always gets a kick out of this type of thing so I figured Jack might as well. Men are weird.

Ch 3: Flirting with the Pizza Boy

Snapping back into host-of-the-party mode, Jack quickly fetched the birthday hats and presented them ceremoniously to the birthday boy and girl.

"Had to get you a new one, Danny, yours was a little squashed after last year," Jack explained as he handed the younger man a hat identical to the one that had been stepped on at O'Malley's. Daniel grinned sheepishly.

Carter laughed and hugged Daniel impulsively. Jack heard the click of a camera going off and was glad Cassie was taking her duties somewhat seriously. "Be still," Jack objected mildly as he tried to put the tiara on his 2IC's head.

"Sorry, sir," she said in such a serious tone he looked down at her in surprise, only to see that she was mocking him.

"Funny," he said lightly as the doorbell rang. "That must be the strippers!" he exclaimed.

Daniel and Sam looked at each other in a moment of pure shock and terror. Jack couldn't help it, they looked so frozen. He burst out laughing. Realizing he was teasing them, they both started hitting him, but they were laughing.

"Kidding, kidding!" he objected, holding up his hands for a truce. "It's the pizza, let me go!"

He squeezed past the two of them and headed for the door, where Cassie was already flirting with the pizza delivery boy. Rolling his eyes, he pulled out his wallet and said, "She's fourteen, Chris."

Yeah, he knew all the delivery boys in the area. So what?

"Hey, I didn't say anything," Chris said quickly. Everyone at work knew Colonel O'Neill. He was a good tipper, he liked hockey, and he looked like he could snap you in half if he wanted to.

"Take some of these, will you, Cass?" Jack said, handing her the top three boxes.

Cassie rolled her eyes dramatically. She had just been _talking _to the boy for crying out loud, he was probably the only person under the age of thirty she'd see all night. Grinning evilly, she said loudly, "Sure, Grandpa, I've got them, don't worry."

She hurried away with them before he could retaliate. "Damn little..." Jack muttered to himself as he started counting out bills.

"Colonel O'Neill, I assure you, I was not hitting on your granddaughter," Chris said quickly.

That just made Jack ten times more furious. "She is _not _my..." he started through clenched jaw, stopping in surprise as a familiar arm snaked around his waist. The arm was familiar, but the only times it _ever _snaked around his waist were if he was suffering from a horrible injury on another planet and needed help walking.

"She's not his granddaughter," Carter supplied, flashing a big smile at the kid, who looked stunned, Jack noted with satisfaction. Yeah, that's right, the old guy who ordered four pizzas a week and was always alone could have a hot blonde hanging off of him every once in a while, he thought, shooting the pizza boy a smug smirk.

"Uh... no, of course she's not. I didn't think she was, I just didn't want him to think I was trying to pick her up," Chris stammered.

Carter leaned, she actually _leaned _into Jack's side, laughed, and pressed her palm to his stomach as she said, "Why not, that's my goddaughter you're talking about, you don't think she's cute?"

"No, she's... very pretty... your goddaughter? Uh, you don't look like a godmother..."

"Thanks," Carter said with a laugh, smiling up at Jack and adding, "And you don't look like a grandfather either."

She patted his stomach and took the pizza boxes out of his hands and disappeared with them. Jack watched her walk away, partly because he was still shocked and amazed at the way she'd saved him from the embarrassment of having the kid think he was Cassie's grandfather and partly because it was the perfect opportunity to look at her ass.

Finally remembering the kid was still waiting for his money, he handed him the folded wad of bills and said, "Thanks, Chris." The kid still looked pretty speechless, not that Jack could blame him. Carter was pretty irresistible when she wasn't even trying, and she had been laying it on pretty thick.

"Dude," Chris said seriously. "If you guys get hungry again..."

Jack thought about pointing out that they had more pizzas than people at the moment, but was feeling pretty damn cheerful at the moment, so he said, "Oh we'll be sure to ask for you specifically, Chris."

"Dude," Chris said solemnly, nodding like a bobble-head doll.

Okay, so he wasn't the smartest kid on the planet, but he obviously had good taste. Jack laughed and shook his head. "Night, Chris."

"Enjoy your pizza, Colonel O'Neill," he said quickly, hurrying back out to his car. Still chuckling, Jack shut the door, took a minute to collect himself, and went to rejoin the group.

"Okay, guys, everyone eat as much pizza as possible so we can have an excuse to get Cassie's future husband back over here!" Jack said loudly, now determined to thoroughly embarrass the girl who had been causing him so much trouble as of late.

"Don't be ridiculous," Cassie objected as everyone immediately started teasing her.

"Don't worry, Janet, he's a very stand-up fellow, been delivering pizza to me since he was just a wee little dude," Jack assured her.

Janet laughed as she put a piece of pizza on her plate. "Yeah, and he thinks Jack is my grandfather," Cassie said loudly. Everyone burst out laughing.

"No, no, Carter corrected him for me, didn'tcha?" he asked, winking at her from across the room.

She blushed slightly; she was still surprised herself at how quickly and strongly she had reacted to the boy thinking he was Cassie's grandfather. Smiling sweetly, she replied, "Just doing my job, sir dude."

Daniel laughed so hard he choked on a pepperoni. Janet and Carter immediately hurried over to him and started rubbing and patting his back while his face turned bright red. "I'm okay," he objected, waving them away, embarrassed. "I'm okay, it was just... really hot," he added unnecessarily, as his eyes were now watering and he practically had steam coming out his ears.

As soon as _that _little drama was over, everyone went back to eating. Teal'c calmly said, "Daniel Jackson, perhaps you should chew your food more thoroughly."

That set everyone off again. Jack looked around at all the people laughing and joking in his living room and couldn't help grinning into his plate. This was by far the best tradition ever.


	4. Pajamas

A/N: Thanks for the reviews everyone, I really appreciate it.

Ch 4: Pajamas

After the pizza, Jack was eager to move things along. "Attention, please!" he said loudly, standing up in the middle of the room. "Now, some of you may have heard rumors that this year's party has a theme to it. Some of you may also be trying to figure out what that is," he added, grinning at Carter and Daniel significantly.

He was vaguely aware of Cassie training the video camera over him and made a mental note to remind her that it was Carter and Daniel's birthday, and the tape should be mostly them. "We're going to do presents now, and then all will become clear," he continued loudly.

"What of the cake, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked.

"Cake is _after _presents this year," he said firmly.

"Grumpy old men sure are set in their ways," Cassie commented loudly to nobody in particular as Jack started piling presents on Carter and Daniel's laps.

Laughing, they exchanged expectant looks. "Do you know what this is about?" Daniel asked.

"Nope. Do you?"

"Nope."

"Stop speculating and start opening," their CO instructed.

Daniel and Sam were each given Teal'c's gift to open first. They unwrapped them at the same time, revealing identical pairs of slippers, huge plushy things with big green aliens on the front. Their eyes widened in surprise. They hugged Teal'c at the same time, thanking him.

"You are most welcome," he told them both.

"Now do ours," Janet insisted, shoving a package into Sam's hands as Cassie shoved one into Daniel's.

Janet and Cassie had gone to Build-a-Bear for them. Sam's bear was wearing a little camouflage uniform and came complete with a little toy gun. When you squeezed it, it sang "Happy Birthday" in a voice similar to a chipmunk's. Daniel's was dressed in Safari gear, made to look like an archaeologist. It even sported the floppy hat Daniel adored and Jack loved to make fun of. It too sang "Happy Birthday."

"Hmm, I think they're a little old to be getting stuffed animals," Jack put in doubtfully as Janet and Cassie were both hugged and kissed by both for their bears.

"You're never too old for Build-A-Bear," Janet said firmly.

Cassie couldn't help adding, "Although you might be pushing it a bit, Jack." Jack picked up the nearest bear, which was Daniel's, and threw it at her head.

When it made contact, it started singing in its high-pitched voice. Everyone laughed, especially when Daniel made a big show of rescuing the bear and comforting it, and apologizing to it for Jack's rough treatment.

"O'Neill, I believe the only gift left is yours," Teal'c finally commented.

"Ah, right," Jack said, handing them both large boxes.

They looked at each other, a bit nervous as to what they would find inside, and finally opened them together, to reveal matching sets of flannel Nick and Nora pajamas. They were dark blue with a pattern of moons and stars.

"Get it yet?" Cassie squealed.

"I'm beginning to," Carter said quietly, smiling at Daniel. "Daniel, I think we're at a slumber party," she said matter-of-factly.

"You got it!" Cassie said happily.

"It was so subtle," Carter commented as Daniel hugged Jack.

When he was done, she hugged him as well, saying, "So that's why you needed Cassie's help."

"Well, I wasn't entirely sure what girls _do _at a slumber party. I mean, I know all about the pillow fights in lingerie, but other than that I wasn't really sure."

"Cassie, you didn't tell him we actually do that?" Carter asked in alarm.

"I didn't have the heart to disillusion the poor guy," Cassie called from where she was refilling her soda.

"You mean you _don't _do that?" he asked suddenly, looking like he was about to burst into tears.

She sighed dramatically and shook her head.

"Now I know I have a heart, because it's breaking," Jack said loudly, clutching his fist to his chest in a perfect imitation of the Tin Man.

"Oh brother," Carter muttered as everyone burst into applause and laughter at his performance.

"Sir, I always thought Daniel was the Tin Man and you were the Scarecrow," she said innocently when the laughter had died down somewhat. "You know, 'if I only had a brain'..."

"That's cute, Dorothy, see if I spring you from the infirmary early next time you get to missing your little doohickeys," he replied quietly just to her as everyone laughed loudly at Carter's joke. She didn't usually make fun of her CO but when she did, she always got him good.

When they had all quieted down, he clapped his hands and said, "Next on the schedule is cake. But first, according to my party planner, we are all a little overdressed for the rest of the night's events, so everyone go get in their jammies and report back here at 20.00 sharp!"

"Yes, sir!" Carter and Janet snapped enthusiastically as everyone got to their feet and headed off to their respective areas to change.

"Oh, Carter," Jack called as she was on the stairs.

"Sir?" she asked automatically, stopping and turning back around.

"Feel free to keep that shirt on if you'd prefer," he said with a cheeky grin. She blushed and went upstairs with Cassie and Janet.

-

"So, Cassie, what exactly is the rest of the night going to involve?" Sam asked as they all went into Jack's guest bedroom to change into their pajamas.

"That's for me to know and you to find out," Cassie said as she started going through her bag for her pajamas. "Although I have a guess as to how it's going to _end_, at least for..."

"Never mind, I'd rather be surprised," Sam said loudly, looking at the back of Janet's head pointedly. Thankfully, the doctor was too absorbed in getting changed to try to figure out what that had been about.

"I feel like a little kid, these things are huge," Sam said as she looked down at herself ten minutes later.

"That's the smallest size they make them in," Cassie told her as she pulled on her favorite pajamas. They were purple satin and had panda bears all over them.

She pulled her long hair up into a ponytail as Sam buttoned the large top over the camisole she was wearing under it. It was a good thing she'd brought it, as even buttoned up completely, the pajama top would pretty much reveal everything if Sam leaned forward at any point during the night.

"You look adorable, Sam," Janet assured her as Sam pulled on Teal'c's slippers.

"Thanks, Jan," Sam said absently as she eyed Cassie's slippers with a raised eyebrow. "Tigger?"

"Tigger's awesome! Don't insult Tigger!"

"I wouldn't dream of it," she said, holding her hands up in surrender.

Janet, meanwhile, was wearing huge cream satin pajamas not unlike the style of Sam's, but as they were satin they were a lot thinner and not as warm.

"I'm going to die in these once we really start drinking," Sam observed.

"The pattern is so perfect for both of you though," Janet said with a smile, pulling on the slippers her daughter had brought for her. They were new, as Janet would normally not wear something like huge goofy slippers with Bugs Bunny on them and Colonel O'Neill had wanted everybody fully decked out for the 'pajama party.'

"He's making us all sleep in sleeping bags on the living room floor too," Cassie confided as they all put their clothes away.

"You're not serious," Janet said, freezing as she finished doing up the buttons on her top.

"Oh yes, very serious," Cassie said as someone knocked loudly on the door.

The gruff voice of Jack O'Neill called loudly, "There better not be any underwear pillow fights happening in there without us!"

"We're done, sir!" Sam called, laughing as she opened the door for him.

"Oh. Good," he said, scanning her ensemble quickly. Sam caught a flash of the way he had looked at her when she first arrived, but he quickly covered it up. For some reason, this made her even more uncomfortable than earlier.

Sure, she was in pajamas, pajamas he had picked out and given her at that, but they were huge and completely unflattering. The fact that he was still able to look at her like that while she was wearing the goofy things was very unsettling.

"Nice jammies. Look better on you than on Daniel," he finally said, looking over at the other two women quickly to apparently try to mask the fact that he'd just been checking out his 2IC fairly obviously. He finally settled on something he could comment on. "What's up doc?" he asked Janet with a big grin, looking pointedly at her slippers.

Janet looked down at her feet and got the joke. Rolling her eyes, she turned to her daughter and said, "Is that why..."

"Hey, he picked them out!" Cassie insisted, heading out the door. Over her shoulder, she casually tossed, "We might want to hurry and get some of that cake, Jack looks like he's absolutely starving!"

Janet followed her daughter, shaking her head slightly.

Sam, for her part, now that she wasn't being watched so closely by her CO, noted his embarrassment at Cassie's comment in mild surprise and took the opportunity to admire his 'jammies,' as he called them. She felt that the black tee-shirt was cheating a bit, as he spent most of his life in black tee-shirts, but then again it was oddly comforting, and nobody looked as good in a black tee-shirt as Jack O'Neill. It also made the wild pattern of the Simpsons pajama pants and Bart Simpson slippers he was wearing seem slightly less ridiculous and more... him. Different, but him. The combined effect was a bit overwhelming, actually.

She was grateful when Cassie yelled, "Daniel's about to dive into his cake, Jack, I won't be able to stop him!" from downstairs, which broke the moment completely.

Smiling a bit shyly at her CO as she met his eyes and realized he'd been watching her watching him (oh like he hadn't been doing it all night,) she said, "Cake," and headed down the hall.

She heard him follow her closely and could have sworn that, under his breath, she heard him say, "Sweet."


	5. Beauty School Dropouts

A/N: As you will soon see, I was not about to leave our stylish Jaffa out of the pajama party;). The Sam and Janet dialogue at the end is stolen from many such exchanges between my sister and me (she's the hobbit.) And I'm eternally grateful to her because she's been sending me all the episodes that have been airing in the UK. Damn, did I pick a bad time to move!

Ch 5: Beauty School Dropouts

Sam and Daniel both grinned when they saw each other in their matching pajamas. Before he would light the candles on the cake, Jack insisted they needed some pictures of the "twins." "Teal'c?" he called, looking around as he realized he wasn't in the room.

"O'Neill, there is no need to yell, I was merely getting another ginger ale," Teal'c said calmly as he came in from the kitchen. Sam froze and tried hard not to laugh. It was the first time she'd seen Teal'c's nightwear. She idly wondered if it had been Jack or Daniel who had helped him procure the largest pair of black satin pajamas with red piping known to man, and decided either answer would disturb her on multiple levels. His slippers were interesting as well: they were shaped like fire trucks and lit up with every step he took.

Teal'c took a few pictures of Daniel and Sam in their twin pajamas, and Daniel and Sam even let Jack swap their hats for one of the pictures, so that she was wearing the top hat and he was wearing the tiara. They quickly switched back; each had grown oddly attached to their own birthday hat over the years. That done, he brought out their cakes with their sparklers on as everyone sang and Teal'c videotaped.

This year Daniel's cake had a volcano, and plastic dinosaurs that were for show only (Jack carefully explained this, as he was concerned Teal'c might swallow one whole.) Sam's looked like a race track and was complete with little toy cars, also inedible. She looked up at him in surprise and he winked and said, "Yeah, it's getting harder and harder to explain all your speeding tickets to General Hammond every year, Speed Racer," in a falsely patronizing tone of voice.

She laughed and shrugged, grinning sheepishly.

"Doc, whatever you do, do NOT let Carter teach your offspring how to drive when the time comes," Jack continued teasing her.

She grinned at him and said, "I don't know, Colonel, I bet I could do just as good a job teaching Cassie how to drive as you. I doubt _I _would have to have my tires realigned afterwards, for example."

Since Janet wasn't supposed to know that Jack had already taken Cassie driving, he had to admit defeat and let that one go. "So, who wants what piece!" he asked loudly.

After cake and ice cream, Jack proclaimed, "Now we're going to watch a movie!" They all looked at him in surprise. That wasn't really terribly original. "Now, now, before you mock, there are apparently a whole set of rules and an elaborate drinking game that go along with this movie. Cassie, you brought the movie, right?" he asked somewhat nervously.

"Of course, Jack. The ultimate sleepover movie," she assured him. He saw all the women exchange knowing looks and suddenly Jack realized he had no idea what was coming.

While Jack brought out a giant tray of Jell-O shots he had spent the entire night before making (Cassie and Teal'c had green ones that were just regular jell-o, so there was no chance of getting them mixed up, the rest had red and blue,) Cassie put the movie in.

As soon as it came on, Jack and Daniel both groaned. "GREASE!" they exclaimed, looking at each other horrified.

"Hey, you're gonna be too drunk to care where you are in a few minutes," Jack grumbled to him. "I'll _remember _watching this tomorrow."

"Hey!" Daniel objected defensively. "I almost always _remember _everything, Jack."

-

Jack was pretty sure Cassie was making up these rules as she went along. Every time a song came on, they all had to sing, and the first person who messed up had to take a shot. Which pretty much meant every time a song came on, all of the men had to do a shot. Also, every time a line that was dubbed "Extra cheesy" came on, every time somebody kissed, even in the background, every time somebody made fun of Sandy or made a sexual reference... by the end of the movie they were all well on their way to being trashed, although Jack had to admit, it had been a lot of fun to see Carter, Cassie, and the doc all standing on his couch singing "Beauty School Dropout" at the top of their lungs, especially since they decided halfway through that Daniel was the 'dropout' in question and spent the rest of the song serenading him enthusiastically.

When it was over, everyone needed to slow down on their drinking some, as it was still pretty early. "Jack did you get those snacks I told you to get?" Cassie demanded.

"Yeah, but we just ate..."

"Doesn't matter, it's a slumber party. We're gonna be eating all night long."

"And puking," he muttered as he went into the kitchen.

He busied himself filling a few bowls with various flavors of chips and some trail mix, surprised when his 2IC entered, a little flushed from the alcohol and the dancing she'd been doing on his couch. Those pajamas probably were pretty warm, he realized suddenly. He grinned as he wondered if she was going to be taking them off later, then shook his head to redirect his thoughts a bit.

She was putting the rest of the jell-o shots back in the fridge for later. "Having fun?" he asked.

"Yup," she answered happily. He couldn't keep the affectionate grin off his face; he hadn't seen her this drunk since their first party.

"Why do you like these pajamas so much?" she asked suddenly, looking down at herself. He realized he'd been staring at her again and shrugged, avoiding the question by filling another bowl, this one with MMs and bite sized candy bars.

"Colonel," she asked pointedly, drawing his name out impossibly long as she climbed up on the counter next to the bowls he had filled. He looked at her in amusement. In the huge pajamas, she practically looked like a little kid. She swung her legs against the cabinet a few times and he shook his head again. Really drunk, really sexy. So not so much in the kid department after all.

"I won't tell anybody else in there if you tell me," she said in a sing-song voice.

He thought about it and decided they were both drunk enough, he could say it. "All right, want to know the truth, Carter," he said in the sort of voice you used if you wanted to discuss a huge conspiracy, trapping her on the counter with one hand on either side of her. She had the presence of mind to stop swinging her legs, for which he was grateful, as she could have done some serious damage, even with the giant alien slippers on.

"I didn't think about it at the time. Actually, I had kind of thought this pajama party idea was pretty safe."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I thought it would make it easy to keep my mind off of you for most of the night," he said bluntly. She bit her lip and suddenly looked like she didn't want him to continue, but he wasn't about to stop now. "But when I saw those pajamas in the store, they were folded up in a box. I didn't realize how much I'd like them when you were wearing them."

"Why?" she asked quietly.

"Well, two reasons," he said with a grin. "First reason: major flashbacks from when you were Thera." She broke the eye contact and squirmed. Ha, he thought in satisfaction. "Second reason," he continued, taking a deep breath and preparing himself to grab two of those bowls as soon as he'd said it and high-tail it back to the safety of the living room before he did something dumb like kiss his 2IC in plain sight of all their friends...

"Second reason," she prompted.

"Second reason," he repeated. "The color. Reminds me of your dress blues." He tapped the end of her nose quickly and grabbed two bowls of chips, ducked his head, and hurried into the living room, not daring to look back at her and see how she'd taken that remark.

-

Sam sat on the counter, thrown more off-balance by what her CO had just said than by all the alcohol she had just consumed. How much longer were they going to be able to keep doing this... thing, whatever it was... every year before it got so big it collapsed on itself, like a star, and they couldn't handle it without raising serious issues about regulations and rules...

"Sam, come on, Cassie says it's time for makeovers," Daniel called cheerfully, coming into the kitchen. He only had one slipper on.

"Daniel, you're adorable," she said suddenly. Well, if you couldn't be completely honest with one important man in your life, might as well be honest with one of the other ones.

"Thanks," he said with a big grin. "Do you think Janet thinks so too?" he asked hopefully as Sam used his shoulders for leverage and lowered herself to the ground.

"Yes, Daniel, I think Janet does too. But she has no idea that you like her at all," she said honestly.

"Oh. Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Well... that's not good."

"No."

"But... the first time I tell her that then I probably shouldn't be this... drunk... or she'll think I'm joking."

"That is a wise decision, Daniel. Come on, let's go back to our party," Sam said, patting him on the chest as he leaned into her heavily so they could walk in a somewhat straight line.

-

Cassie was painting Teal'c's fingernails bright red to match the piping of his pajamas. Jack was watching the proceedings as though fascinated. "You waiting in line, sir?" Sam called as she and Daniel collapsed in a rather ungraceful heap on the couch.

"Maybe," he admitted. "I think I'm more of a pedicure kind of guy myself though, Carter. Want to do the honors?"

"Sir, you could not ORDER me to touch your feet," she said sincerely.

Daniel started giggling. Sam smiled at him and fixed his hat. She loved drunk Daniel, he always thought she was so funny.

"Okay, so Cassie's got the mani/pedis down, Janet, do you want to do hair or makeup, or both? Shall we each pick a victim and completely make him over?"

"Sounds like a good plan to me, Sam," Janet agreed. "Daniel, would you like me to do your hair and makeup for you?" she called.

He nodded enthusiastically and managed to sit up off of Sam.

"Hold on there, Danny boy," Jack objected. "We can't give in that easy, they're trying to make girls out of us here, we've got to stick together."

"Teal'c's already getting his nails painted," Daniel whined.

Janet and Sam turned to Jack with smirks. "Lost to the dark side once and for all," Sam said of Daniel, helping him up and nudging him towards Janet.

"We get to do you after you do us," Jack stipulated as his 2IC approached him with a lipstick. She paused with a raised eyebrow as she waited for him to realize how that had just sounded. He closed his eyes as it hit him, shaking his head slightly.

"I'm going to be violently ill," Cassie muttered.

Ignoring her, Jack glanced apologetically at Carter, but he didn't need to explain the context of his remark, she had known what he meant. He just had to sit there and let her put makeup all over him. That, he could handle.

Especially because she was concentrating so hard on getting it all on straight in her drunken state, she had no idea that while she leaned over him he could see straight down her pajama top. Light blue camisole. Nice. While she put God-knew-what on his face, he made it his mission for the night to get her to take that top off so he could really see that camisole properly. Judging by how flushed she'd been after dancing with the Fraisers, he figured it was a definite possibility.

There wasn't a lot she could do with his hair, but she still spent a good five minutes running her hands through it, making it extra spiky with tons of gel but nearly lulling him to sleep in the process. His head drooped forward and rested against her flannel-clad stomach.

"Colonel, you're not going to be the first one asleep are you?" he heard her ask, sounding mildly surprised as she scratched the back of his neck lightly with her nails to wake him up.

He shook his head and forced himself to sit up. Sam wasn't even looking at him anymore, she was looking over at Janet and Daniel. He followed her gaze and saw that Daniel was just as droopy as he was. "I think these boys need some sugar," Janet stated.

"Mother!" Cassie scolded.

Janet looked at her blankly and then blushed. "I didn't mean... I meant something to eat. Don't we have any cookie dough?" she asked. Jack started laughing. She had said that in the exact same tone he always heard when he was stuck in the infirmary and she was talking to the nurses. "Don't we have any gauze? Don't we have any O neg?" It struck something in him and once he started laughing he couldn't stop for a long time.

-

Her CO laughing against her stomach caused Sam to dissolve into a puddle of giggles as well, even though she really didn't have a clue what she was laughing at. Well, _she _was mostly laughing at the way he looked with enough makeup to last a year on his face, but she didn't really know why _he _was laughing so hard. Janet had asked if there was cookie dough and he'd simply never stopped laughing.

She looked to her friends and they shrugged. "Men," Janet offered, by way of explanation.

-

When he finally stopped laughing, he was curled over in the chair clutching his sides. He heard a lot of moving and when he looked up, Janet, Cassie, Carter, and Teal'c were all opening those rolls of pre-made cookie dough Cassie had told him to buy. He watched in horror as they started eating them like bananas.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

"It's perfectly safe, Colonel, there's no raw egg in this kind," Janet explained.

"That wasn't... raw egg... huh? You... I thought you wanted to make cookies!" he said to Cassie.

She shook her head and took a big bite. "Now why on earth would you think that?" she asked.

"Oh I don't know, because it's COOKIE DOUGH?"

"Oh come on, sir, try it before you complain about it," Carter said somewhat grumpily, shoving a large chunk of it unceremoniously into his mouth.

"Hey, you can't... hey, that's pretty good," he said in surprise.

Daniel perked up and tried to snatch some of Teal'c's. Teal'c, who looked like a huge scary clown with all the makeup Cassie had put on him, swatted his hand away firmly and said, "Do not make me harm you on your birthday, Daniel Jackson."

"Here," Janet said, handing him some of hers.

"Thanks," he said gratefully, smiling up at her.

Jack burst out laughing as he saw Daniel's makeup. Janet, who was really really drunk, had made him look like one of those Raggedy Ann dolls.

"I think beer would go well with this," Jack declared as they sat around eating the cookie dough and laughing at their makeovers. Nobody felt like moving. Cassie grumbled about being a babysitter for drunken old people and fetched them all new drinks.

They all chorused "Thank you, Cassie, we love you Cassie" as she passed them out.

She rolled her eyes and went over to start another movie, stating, "Just so you guys know, all the other movies we'll be watching tonight have either Sandra Bullock or Julia Roberts in them." Jack was pleased to note that his 2IC joined him in groaning and wincing as they heard that.

After the sugar had kicked in and a little more of the alcohol had worn off, Jack turned to Carter pointedly. "Your turn." She looked over to where Daniel was clumsily applying makeup to Janet and nodded resolutely.

He looked down at all the supplies at his disposal, selected the big poofy brush, swirled it around in the pink powder stuff, and froze, the brush a fraction of an inch from Carter's. She had closed her eyes for protection but when she didn't feel any makeup going on her face, she opened them cautiously.

Clearly startled to see him that close to her, she didn't move away, merely asked, "What's wrong?"

"I don't want to," he realized, sitting back on his heels.

"Why not?"

"I don't want to mess up your pretty face," he admitted, putting the brush down. After a few moments of embarrassed silence, he risked looking at her and immediately wished he hadn't.

She looked like she was seriously considering closing that small amount of space between their lips and that would be bad. There were way too many people in the room for that, but he sure as hell wasn't going to be able to stop her if that was what she really wanted to do...

Janet yelped and effectively destroyed the mood as Daniel started apologizing to her profusely. "It's okay, it's okay," she kept assuring him. "Just... maybe you shouldn't try to do my eyes since you don't have perfect motor control right now."

Jack couldn't help snorting and laughing at that one. That was his Spacemonkey. You didn't get any smoother than that. "Daniel, Hammond will have my ass if you blind our doctor over there!" Jack called.

"I won't, I won't. I'm really sorry, Janet," he said for the millionth time.

"It's okay," she assured him yet again.

Shaking her head ruefully at the two of them, Carter caught his eye again. "I want to paint your nails instead," Jack said suddenly.

"Um, okay," she said with a shrug, looking around for something to put her hand on to protect her clothes and the furniture while he went over to Cassie to get the nail polish.

"You are a weird man, Jack O'Neill," Cassie said as she handed him several little bottles of nail polish.

"You just shut up and watch your movie Miss Fraiser," he mumbled, going back over to where Carter was sitting on the floor.

He wasn't sure how but he ended up with nail polish all over himself, the pizza box they'd used as a table between them, and a good bit of it had got on Carter's skin as well as her nails. He figured that perhaps if he hadn't been so intent on playing with her fingers the same time he painted them, he could have been a little less messy. Still, he had to say he had done a pretty good job. Each nail was a different color and they all clashed horribly, but still. He was rather proud.

-

Sam smiled to herself as she tried to get nail polish off of the back of her hand. Thankfully, Cassie had brought a little bottle of remover, and she was now putting it to the test in her CO's bathroom, leaning carefully over his sink.

"Cassie said you can get this stuff off," a familiar voice grumbled behind her. She glanced up and met his eyes in the mirror with a smile.

"Yeah, hang on," she said, soaking another cotton ball and holding her hand out for his. "Sir, you seem to have gotten more on yourself than on me, how is that possible?" she asked curiously as she wiped the various colors off of his hands.

"I don't know, I guess I'm more of an abstract, color outside the lines kind of guy," he answered sarcastically. "Or just messy."

She smiled at that and said, "There."

"That's it? I was scrubbing at this in the kitchen for ten minutes before... that little..."

Sam couldn't help laughing. "She does have a bit of a mean streak to her, doesn't she," she agreed, tossing the used cotton balls into the trash. She wet a washcloth suddenly and, on impulse, started wiping his face off.

"What are you doing?" he croaked.

"The makeup is just disturbing," she said absently, wetting the wash cloth some more to attack the makeup caked to his face properly. "Close your eyes," she warned.

"Geez, Carter, anybody ever tell you you have absolutely no bedside manner at all?" he yelped as she scrubbed harder at his face.

"Not that this looks like a hospital to me, sir, but yes, as a matter of fact, you've told me that numerous times," she countered. "There," she said finally, satisfied the red on his face was now just from the fact that she'd been scrubbing his face with a wash cloth and wasn't blush.

"Besides, those pictures we have of you guys will last forever, no need to make you sit around with that stuff on all night." She patted him on the cheek and left him alone in the bathroom to worry about where those pictures might end up.

-

Jack decided that his party was getting too far out of his control for his taste. He went into the living room and abruptly stopped Cassie's movie. "Hey!" Teal'c, Cassie, and Janet all objected.

"We're watching OUR movie," he said firmly, popping in the tape from the first birthday.

"Oh, good!" Janet said happily. Everyone squished on the couch so that Jack was really pressed up against Teal'c much more intimately than he was comfortable with. On the other hand, his 2IC was also pretty snug against his other side, so he figured it was a fair trade-off and turned his attention to the video.

Everyone enjoyed watching it. "I can't believe how young we look!" Carter exclaimed. He had just been thinking that as well, specifically himself. Specifically his hair. He hadn't realized it had changed so much... it really hadn't been all that gray that first year, now it was almost completely... okay, maybe watching that video hadn't been such a good idea. He now felt even older than he already did. Carter and Daniel, and even Teal'c, only looked better now than they had four years ago. And they'd all looked pretty good four years ago too. He just looked... older. He was glad when the tape ended and Cassie went over and started fussing with his stereo.

-

Not even Jack O'Neill could remain surly with the rest of his team and Janet and Cassie dancing around his living room belting out Marvin and Tammy at the top of their lungs, all singing along to "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" in various keys.

Cassie pulled him to his feet reluctantly and pushed a hair brush/microphone into his hand and spun him towards her mother. Daniel was enthusiastically yelling out the words just a tiny bit behind the actual song. Sam maneuvered her way over toDaniel and helped him get back on track. Jack looked around for Teal'c: they were singing right at each other in their matching pajamas and he wanted to make sure this was being recorded.

Teal'c, ever reliable, was calmly videotaping the entire thing. Cassie had apparently set the song to repeat, because it just kept going on and on, until finally they were all laughing hysterically, out of breath, and had collapsed on whatever or whoever was closest to them.

"Doc, am I having a heart attack?" Jack asked weakly from where he was melted into the couch cushions. Cassie was stretched on top of both of them.

Janet reached over towards him half-heartedly and said, "Nah, probably not."

"Good enough," he replied.

"Are you sure, Mom, according to Sam's dad last year he is at the right age..." It was the wrong thing to say after watching that video and hearing all those cracks about his age all night.

Jack growled, "That's IT, Cassie, you are DEAD!" and grabbed a throw pillow and began wacking her with it. She squirmed and tried to find her own weapon as her mom started defending her.

"Help me out here guys!" Jack insisted. "Teal'c, put down the camera and bail me out, man!" he called desperately.

"I would rather preserve this for posterity, O'Neill," Teal'c called calmly.

"Daniel, come on, I think our CO needs backup!" Carter called, grabbing two pillows and tossing one to Daniel.

A full-blown pillow fight ensued, SG1 against the Fraisers, who were small but fast and had obviously had many more pillow fights in their days than SG1 had.

"Ah, watch it, Blondie!" Janet shrieked at Sam as Sam tripped on her baggy pajama bottoms and crashed into Janet, knocking them both to the floor between the couch and the coffee table.

"Ah, stop attacking me you Hobbit, I'm trying to get up off the floor!" Sam countered.

Jack and Daniel were laughing hysterically. Daniel was clutching his side, his glasses hanging off of one ear. Both women's heads were dangerously close to the edge of the coffee table however, so Jack grabbed Carter around the waist and hauled her off the doctor, saying, "Woa, Time Out there, Blondie."

Both women froze and looked at him in pure shock. Clearly he had gone too far.

"He didn't," Fraiser said quietly, getting to her feet.

"I think he did," Sam said, sliding over to Janet.

"Uh-oh," Jack said quietly, scrambling to his feet and backing away from them both. "Daniel, Teal'c... seriously, Teal'c, put down the camera and help me!" he called desperately.

Daniel rushed to his side bravely and tried to rescue Jack, who was now being bombarded by all three women.

Teal'c sighed and said, "If I must, I must." He set the camera down carefully on a shelf and grabbed a pillow of his own, wondering what the point was of a battle with one's friends where you clearly did not wish to injure any of them.


	6. Drunken Revelations

A/N: I was so pleased to see that I am causing people to pee their pants and to quote "Friends." (No sarcasm intended there, I am genuinely happy about that.)

Lihanou: Real life is often much funnier than anything I could make up. My sister has always been the only one who can get away with calling me Blondie, and although she is ten years older than I am, I was taller than her when I was about twelve. So she has been called many creative nicknames about being short. Hobbit is my personal fave. At the same time, if anybody else called either of us by those names, we would be backing each other up, which is how I see Sam and Janet. So there ya go. More info than you wanted, I'm sure.

Janissma: Yes, it is gross. I once walked in on three of my brothers with the wrappers to pillsbury dough logs peeled back like banana peels, snacking away. Not a pretty sight.

Ch 6: Drunken Revelations

The pillow fight was still raging half an hour later. At some point, Jack figured it was probably while he was trying to fend off Cassie and Janet at the same time, both Carter and Daniel had removed their pajama tops, leaving Daniel in a white undershirt and giving Jack that full view of the light blue camisole he had been hoping for.

The Fraisers took advantage of his distraction to pin him to a chair and promptly began beating him mercilessly with their pillows. "Daniel, help!" he gasped finally as he pushed past them both.

Daniel was in no position to help, as he and Carter had abandoned their pillows and were now just plain wrestling. Carter had him in a headlock but he was doing a decent job at trying to get out of it. "Jack, _you _help _me_!" Daniel called, throwing his weight backwards to stay on his feet.

The motion made Carter's top come halfway up her torso and Jack gaped in surprise as something shiny caught the light and his attention. "Carter, what the hell is in your belly button?" he demanded.

Everyone froze. She looked down at the way her top had crept up her body and pulled it down quickly, blushing furiously and casting Cassie a desperate look.

Janet, despite being drunk and standing on the coffee table with a pillow still raised over her head, caught the look that passed between her daughter and her best friend and immediately made the connection. "Cassandra Fraiser, show me your belly button right this second," she said in that voice that you really, really didn't mess with.

Cassie reluctantly also pulled her top up a few inches to reveal a pierced belly button with a sparkly butterfly in it.

"That's against regulations, Carter," Jack pointed out unnecessarily. He wondered why he had bothered to say it; nobody in the room thought for a second he was going to write her up for it.

"I don't wear it on the base, sir," she said, clearly embarrassed at the amount of attention her navel was receiving.

"Oh," he said, somewhat disappointed by that. Still, he thought he had her all figured out, and she had definitely surprised him.

"How long have you been hiding this young lady?" Janet demanded. Jack looked at her in surprise and then realized she had been talking to her daughter, not to Carter.

"Er... a few months," Cassie hedged.

"Jan, you really shouldn't complain, she _wanted _a tattoo. This was a... compromise," Carter tried to explain.

"_Compromise!" _Janet shrieked.

The look Carter shot her CO told him Cassie had used her knowledge for evil once again. He had to say he wasn't minding it too much this time.

"Aw, doc, what's the big deal, it's not like it's permanent," he tried. "She can always let it grow back. Come on, don't be a party pooper."

She glared at him for several moments and finally sighed. "All right, I'll let this go, but only because I'm drunk right now. Cassie I reserve the right to continue this discussion later."

"Okay," Cassie said meekly.

"How about a quieter game now?" Cassie finally suggested after a few minutes of awkward silence. The pillow fight had been brought to a rather abrupt end.

"Like what?" Jack asked.

"Truth or Dare?" Cassie suggested.

"We played that already," Daniel whined.

"Yeah, four years ago, Spacemonkey, and Cass and the Doc weren't even here," Jack said. "We can play it again if you guys want to."

"Okay, if we think you're lying or you're too chicken to do it you have to do a shot!" Cassie declared, getting up to go to the kitchen for the rest of the jell-o.

"Ah, memories," Jack said fondly as he joined the group assembling in a circle-like shape on the floor. He made sure to position himself directly across from Carter and eyed the tray of jell-o suspiciously. "Seem to be a few more blue shots left than red ones, Carter," he commented innocently.

"Because Janet likes red too," Carter argued.

"Oh, I have a better idea, let's do never have I ever," Cassie suddenly said. Everyone looked at her in confusion. "When it's your turn," she explained. "You can say something like 'Never have I ever... got a tattoo.' Then anybody who _has _got a tattoo has to do a shot. Get it? And if you don't want to answer or we all think you're lying, we can make you do a dare."

"So I can say, 'Never have I ever worn a bra' and all of you would automatically have to drink?" Jack asked.

"Well, yeah, but then you'd just be aggravating all of us, which would be kind of dumb," Cassie pointed out.

"Right," Jack mumbled. "Okay, let Carter or Daniel go first..."

"I want to go first," Daniel said suddenly. "Never have I ever... crap, I can't think of anything. Sam, you go."

She smirked at him and said, "Never have I ever slept with somebody from another planet."

The ladies watched in amusement as all the boys took their shots rather sheepishly, as if they were taking medicine.

"Good one, Sam. That's the kind of stuff you're supposed to say. Let's just go round in a circle," Cassie suggested, which made her mother next.

"Before I start participating in this game I want it known that anything I may admit to may not be brought up in future arguments, Cassie."

"Aw, Mom..."

"I can just make you go to bed now, you know."

"All right, fine."

"Yeah, it goes without saying none of this leaves the room," Jack said nervously.

"Got a lot to hide, Colonel?" Sam asked with a smirk.

"Be careful there, Carter," he warned, glad when she actually looked a little nervous.

"Okay, as I was saying," Janet said. "Never have I ever... kissed somebody in the Gate Room."

Teal'c and Daniel took their shots. "Man, I miss all kinds of good stuff at work!" Cassie said in amazement.

It was Teal'c's turn. He said casually, "Never have I ever kissed anybody in the _Control Room._"

Nobody reached for a shot. Finally, Jack snaked his hand out casually. Everyone looked at him in surprise. Daniel cleared his throat and said pointedly, "Ah, Sam."

"Oh! Right! I forgot!" She quickly grabbed a shot, her cheeks red before it even went down.

"Daniel, how'd you know about Carter kissing somebody in the control room?" Jack demanded, looking at Teal'c harshly.

"I saw her," he said plainly.

"What... who?"

"Narim. Who'd you... _Sam,_" he said, looking at her as though scandalized. "Who _else _have you kissed in the control room?"

"Nobody," Sam said, confused.

"My turn," Jack said loudly.

"Wait a minute, sir, if you didn't know about Narim, what were you talking about?" she asked.

"Uh, nothing."

"Wait a minute, Jack, who did YOU kiss in the control room?" Cassie asked.

"Uh... I plead the fifth."

"Okay, then you have to do a dare," Cassie said immediately.

"Fine," he said, looking at anybody in the room but his 2IC.

"I dare you to... call the base and ask Siler if his refrigerator is running." Jack rolled his eyes. That was a small price to pay for keeping the time loop incident a secret. He gladly made the call to Siler, who was very confused and clearly didn't get it.

"Poor guy," Janet said sympathetically.

"Right. My turn," Jack said firmly. "Never have I ever... ridden a motorcycle," he finally said with a smirk at Carter. She and Janet both took their shots.

It was Cassie's turn. "Never have I ever shot a gun," she said casually, knowing everyone else would have to do one.

Daniel was up next. He thought for a long time and said, "Never have I ever... oh wait, no. Never mind. I was going to say 'been arrested' but I forgot about all those times on other planets... okay, never have I ever... locked Sam out of her lab!"

"Hey!" Jack objected as he reached for the shot. "That was a cheap shot, Daniel."

"I knew it," Sam muttered. It was her turn next. "Never have I ever gotten into a real fight with someone on my team," she said, narrowing her eyes at Jack and Daniel, who both had to do a shot. Jack noticed Daniel had taken a green one the last two times, but didn't say anything, knowing there was no real way Daniel could be expected to keep up with them and not wanting him to be sick all night.

Janet thought for a while and said, "Never have I ever... been charged with insubordination."

All of SG-1 grinned and took their shots together.

When it was Cassie's turn again, she grinned. "Never have I ever been yelled at by Sam's dad."

Jack and Sam both reached for shots, refusing to look at each other. Cassie was determined to hear what had happened after last year's party, eventually.

Daniel was giggling and leaning on Teal'c. "That was mean, Cassie, you should leave Jam and Sack alone..." He paused and frowned slightly as he recognized he'd made an error in speaking but was clearly having trouble identifying exactly what that error had been.

Everyone was laughing. "I think that's the signal to end this little game for now," Jack finally said.

"Aw, come on, Sack. Or Jam, whichever," Janet objected, laughing.

"Funny, Doc," he said absently as he and Cassie got up to clear away all the empty plastic cups.

"You are quickly getting on my last nerve, Cassandra Fraiser," Jack said casually as they started fixing non-alcoholic drinks for everyone.

"Oh please, you should be thanking me, Jack."

"Right."

"Oh, Jack, just a little word of advice..." Cassie said innocently as she headed back to the living room. "Your tongue is bright red from all those shots, and Sam's is bright blue... I'd be careful if I were you, if you both suddenly show up with purple tongues everybody else is going to know about your little tradition."

She ducked out of the way of the handful of MMs he threw at her and went back into the living room, laughing at her own cleverness.


	7. Sleeping Bags

A/N: So close. Three stories without the characters' ages being an issue. Ah well, it was bound to happen again. It was brought to my attention that in Season 4, during this story, Cassie "should be 16." True, they do say she is 12 near the end of season 1. However, they also say she is 12 during season 2. So I've always worked under the assumption that she was _barely _12 in season 1. I agree completely, also, that she did look much younger than 12 anyway. Additionally, in the season 5 episode "Rite of Passage," there are 15 candles on her cake. Yes, I am very strange. I counted them. So, for the purposes of this story, Cassie is 14 in season 4.

Ch 7: Sleeping bags

When Jack rejoined the party in the living room, he laughed loudly at the sight in front of him. Cassie painting Carter's toenails wasn't that unusual or particularly comical. But Teal'c painting Daniel's sure was. Daniel was hugging the bear the Fraisers had given him as though it was the most important thing in the history of the world, and was having trouble sitting still while Teal'c worked.

"Daniel Jackson, if you do not remain motionless until I am finished I will ask O'Neill to sit on you," Teal'c said evenly.

Daniel went still. Jack passed out the drinks he had brought and looked over at Janet, who was going through his movie collection. "Hey, what are you doing over there, Doc?"

"Trying to find something we can all enjoy," she called over her shoulder. "Perfect!" she exclaimed, popping something into his DVD player before he could put in any requests. Oh well, he figured if it was one of his, it was fine.

"Indiana Jones!" Daniel and Carter exclaimed happily at the same time as the movie began. Jack laughed and took a seat near Daniel and Teal'c so he could monitor the strange pedicure.

"You are next, O'Neill," Teal'c informed him evenly, in that calm voice that meant there was not going to be any discussion about it.

"Hey, buddy, I appreciate the offer, but my feet don't exactly smell like roses," Jack said.

Carter snorted at that. Janet and Cassie giggled.

"My symbiote will protect me," Teal'c replied calmly, which set everyone off even more. Jack sighed and resigned himself to having his toenails painted by the greatest warrior he knew.

"Wow, Teal'c," Carter said appreciatively halfway through the movie as Daniel and Jack showed off their toenails. Daniel's were hot pink, Jack's were bright red. "I think you've found a second career after we're done with the whole freeing the universe from the evil oppression of the Goa'uld thing."

"Perhaps," he agreed.

Jack laughed at the mental image of Teal'c in a beauty shop, painting old ladies' toenails, and got up to go get everyone's sleeping bags, as the late hour and copious amounts of alcohol were finally starting to take their toll on everyone. He spread them all out in front of the coffee table and added a mountain of pillows to the pile. Everybody was too comfortable on the couch or in the chairs to relocate themselves, however.

He resumed his seat in his least favorite chair and frowned at the two occupants of the nice comfy one he wished he was sitting in: Carter and Daniel. It was a big chair, but still. There was no need for them to both be sitting in it, looking all snug under that one blanket.

He knew there was nothing going on between them, of course, but he still couldn't help getting a bit upset when he saw them so relaxed and comfortable together, because their relationship could be as open as anything and nobody could ever do or say anything about it. So he was jealous of Daniel in that way, and he rather thought both of them knew it.

"Jack, what is the matter with you?" Cassie whispered as she leaned off the couch to grab a bowl of chips off the coffee table.

"Nothing," he muttered, turning his attention back to the movie.

Cassie and Janet, who were surrounding Teal'c on the couch, both fell asleep during the movie, Cassie curled up in a little ball against Teal'c's side. Daniel and Carter were dozing in their chair too, their heads resting against the back of the chair, Daniel's top hat still on his head but at a rather odd angle.

As the movie ended, Teal'c pulled out the camera and snapped a picture of them, which made everyone wake up. Jack got up to turn off the movie and began clearing away all of the food and drink remnants into the kitchen while everyone either helped him or went to various bathrooms to go get ready for bed.

By the time he got finished in the bathroom himself and came back into the living room, everyone was in their sleeping bags, except for Teal'c, who of course did not sleep. He was sitting in a chair. Jack frowned at Janet; she was in her sleeping bag all right, but she had stretched it out on the couch.

"You're cheating," he stated, crossing his arms and looking down at her sternly. He was sorely tempted to pick her up, sleeping bag and all, and dump her back on the floor where she belonged.

"Someone always gets the couch at a slumber party, Colonel," she informed him. "And unlike you guys, I'm not used to sleeping on the ground. Plus it's bad for my allergies."

"Daniel's not complaining about his allergies."

"Jack, leave her alone," Daniel called from his spot on the floor.

"Fine," Jack said, going over to the row of sleeping bags left on the floor. Daniel, an empty one, Cassie, and Carter.

Cassie gave him a too-innocent smile and said, "We saved you a spot, Jack."

No doubt she wanted to see whether he'd insist on moving his near Carter. Well, he wasn't going to give her the satisfaction. He got into his bag right where it was and said, "Oh yeah, Cassie, I tend to kick around a lot in my sleep, and lash out violently sometimes, and scream a bit too."

"You're a crappy liar," Cassie said. Everyone had woken up a bit after the action of getting up and getting ready for bed.

"This is the part of the slumber party where we tell secrets," Cassie announced after Janet had turned off the light and the room was nearly dark, the only light filtering in from the one over the sink in the kitchen.

"And talk about boys?" Jack asked sarcastically.

"Well, if you _want _to talk about boys I'm not going to stop you, Jack," Cassie replied sarcastically, making Sam and Daniel laugh.

"Smart-ass," Jack muttered, swatting her through her thick sleeping bag.

"Hey, don't hit my daughter!" Janet called.

"Your daughter is evil," Jack muttered.

Daniel's bear suddenly started singing. "Sorry," he apologized as everyone laughed. "I uh, hugged it too tight."

"You are a strange man, Daniel," Jack told him.

"Thanks, Jack."

"Sam, what happened last year after your dad saw you and Jack in the car?" Cassie asked casually.

"Nothing," Sam said automatically for the thousandth time.

"Are you sure? Because I'd like to hear about it but if nobody has anything interesting to talk about, I have something..." she said suggestively.

Sam groaned. "Nothing happened, Cass. Selmak calmed Dad down and pointed out that aside from the regulations and everything, we wouldn't be doing anything in a car full of our friends anyway. Dad didn't even mention it the next day when I had lunch with him."

"Maybe not to you," Jack mumbled into his pillow.

"What was that, Jack, I didn't quite catch what you just said," Cassie said loudly.

"Uh, I said 'Cassie is a shrew?'" he tried.

He was suddenly hit from both sides by Daniel and Cassie.

"Okay, okay. I said, 'maybe not to you.'"

"So what did he say to you? And what happened in your meeting with General Hammond?"

"Oh, George just carried on for a while, then calmed down and told me to be more careful. And that if he ever saw another team member in my lap again it had better be Daniel. Or Teal'c."

"Yeah right," Daniel said as everyone laughed.

"Okay, Cassie, satisfied?" Jack demanded.

"I suppose."

"O'Neill, you did not tell Cassandra what transpired in the locker room after your meeting with General Hammond," Teal'c said evenly.

"Why thank you, Teal'c," Jack said, his voice dripping with sarcasm as everyone demanded to know what Teal'c was talking about.

"O'Neill insisted I remain with him at all times until Jacob Carter left the base. He was afraid for his safety."

"No I wasn't! I just... wanted to hang out with you, T."

"Of course, O'Neill. Jacob Carter found us in the locker room and..."

"I will tell them, Teal'c! Geez."

"Proceed, O'Neill."

"Fine. T and I had just taken showers because we had been boxing. I was halfway dressed when for the second time I was spun around and slammed against my locker by a Carter. This however was not anywhere near as pleasant or interesting as the _first _time that happened," he couldn't help but add. Hey if he had to tell the story, he was going to make it sound good.

"Sir, we don't need to go into that," Carter called from the other side of Cassie. He grinned because he knew she was blushing even though nobody could see her.

"All right, keep your shirt on, Carter. Or actually..."

"Daniel?" Carter called casually.

"Got it, Sam," Daniel replied, punching Jack in the arm.

Jack chuckled and kept talking. "All right, so Jacob slams me up against the locker, lets his eyes do the flashy thing, and goes into the whole 'touch my daughter I'll kill you' routine. SO cliché. Honestly, I kind of expected more from Jake than that..."

"I found the part where he threatened to shoot you in the 'family jewels' with a zat'nikatel to be quite original, O'Neill," Teal'c commented.

Everyone laughed, but Jack could hear Carter groaning. Hmm, maybe he should have told her about this earlier. After all, the only person who could intimidate Jacob Carter was Sam Carter.

"So anyway, Teal'c waits until I'm about to pass out from lack of oxygen to 'request' that Jacob let go of me, and Jacob finally does. He goes into the whole Air Force speech I had just heard from Hammond, then goes back to the 'angry father' bit for a while longer. Then he ah, gently reminded me how much older I am than Carter, threatened me once more for good measure, and left."

"He also mentioned several forms of torture he learned from Selmak," Teal'c supplied.

Carter sighed and said, "Looks like I'll be having a little talk with my dad tomorrow when he comes for dinner. Man, I haven't had to have this conversation with him since... high school, I think. College maybe. Sorry about all that, Colonel."

"I expected nothing less from your father, Carter," he assured her. "And I have to say, it made me appreciate the Tok'ra a whole lot more."

"Somehow I don't believe you, Jack," Daniel said.

"Okay, not the Tok'ra in general, but Selmak, definitely."

"Hey, Jan?" Carter called suddenly.

No response. "One down," Cassie said quietly. "Thanks for getting us in trouble about our belly buttons, Jack," she hissed, punching him through the sleeping bag.

"If people don't stop hitting me I'm leaving!" he declared, getting grumpy. It had suddenly occurred to him that it was going to be very difficult to continue his private birthday tradition with Carter, since they were all supposed to be falling asleep in the same room.

"D'oh!"

"Jack? You okay?" Daniel asked with a loud yawn.

"Yeah, I just... forgot to do something."

From the snort that emanated from Cassie, he figured she probably knew what he was thinking.

"Hey, Jack?" Daniel asked.

"Yes, Daniel?"

"Thanks for another great birthday."

"You're welcome, SpaceMonkey."

"Yes, sir, thank you. This was so much fun."

"Welcome, Carter." Did that mean she wouldn't be thanking him later, in private? This slumber party was the worst idea ever!

He lay in his sleeping bag staring at the ceiling for a long time. Daniel was snoring beside him. Apparently the floor _was _messing with his allergies. After ten minutes of this, Teal'c excused himself to another room to kel-no-reem.

"Cassie? You awake?" Jack asked after what seemed like forever. He squinted at her in the dark, trying to see if she was really asleep or just faking. He couldn't tell. He peered over her at Carter, who also looked like she was asleep, although it was really too dark to tell.

He flopped back down onto his sleeping bag dramatically, letting out a loud sigh.

A few seconds later, he heard squirming from Carter's area. He sat up hopefully and tried to look over at her in the dark. "What are you doing?" he finally whispered.

"Putting my pajama top back on, it's freezing in here."

"Oh, sorry," he said. "Teal'c turned it down when everyone was running around."

"It's okay, it's not that bad."

"You sure, I can change it."

"No, it's fine. Thank you, sir."

"Oh. Okay. Well, if you change your mind, um, let me know."

"Okay."

They both settled back in their sleeping bags. Jack sighed at the ceiling again. "Um, just curious, Carter, are you uh, going to sleep over there?"

"Eventually."

"When?"

"I don't know."

"Oh."

More silence. Well, this was a whole lot of no fun.

"Is your telescope still set up on your roof, sir?" she asked hesitantly a few moments later.

"Yes," he said quickly, rolling his eyes at his own eagerness. "I haven't ah... been up there in a while but it's still there if you want to go... check it out."

He peered at Cassie as he said this. He thought he had seen her smile, but maybe he was just being overly paranoid.

"But ah, there's been some... issues in the neighborhood lately with ah... raccoons... so maybe I should go up there first and make sure everything's okay, and then in about ten minutes or so you could come up?"

"That sounds like a good idea, sir."

"Okay. Good." He got up and hurried upstairs, turning on a couple of lights along the way so she could find her way around the house.

Yes, he did realize he was grinning like an idiot, but at the moment he didn't really care. He really hoped Cassie hadn't been awake for that not-so-smooth exit. He'd never hear the end of it if she had been. He grabbed a hooded sweatshirt from his closet and quickly pulled it over his tee-shirt, then grabbed the blanket off the foot of his bed as well and hurried up to the trap door that led to his roof.

He hugged the blanket to him to keep it sort of warm in case Carter needed it when she got out there, but it wasn't as cold as it usually was. Or maybe that was the alcohol that was probably still in his system. He paced around on the small flat part of his roof for a few seconds before forcing himself to stay still. He stopped at the far edge and looked up at the sky. "Gonna be clear tomorrow," he said to himself.

He studied the stars for a while, trying not to glance at his watch every couple of seconds. Finally, he heard the door open, heard Carter climb onto the roof, and heard her shut the door carefully behind herself. He turned to look at her and had to laugh. She was still in her pajamas, but she had her coat on over them. He found the bizarre ensemble absurdly adorable and shook his head. He definitely needed some type of medication or something. Maybe the doc could hook him up with something...

Sam looked down at herself sheepishly, realizing how silly she probably looked. She finally shrugged and looked back at her CO, who was standing all the way across the roof, hugging a blanket and watching her.

"Hi."

"Hi."

-

A/N: I know, I'm terribly cruel, aren't I?


	8. Holiday Foreplay

A/N: Happy molecule, your name cracked me up! I've been so surprised by how many responses this story has received - especially since the end to each story is basically the same. I hope I've done each year differently enough to maintain your interest. Anyway, I'm going to post this and the short epilogue at the same time, because things have just gotten very interesting around here and I'm not entirely certain how quickly the next story will be out.

Ch 8: Holiday Foreplay

Sam stood by the door, hugging her elbows involuntarily for warmth, but she adjusted quickly to the temperature outside.

"Hi," Jack repeated.

"Hi," she echoed. Talkative pair, she thought absently.

"Good year," Jack finally offered.

"It was," she agreed enthusiastically. It really had been. Certainly better than the last year at any rate. And she had had a wonderful time at this party. Last year's had been great as well, but things had been so awkward between the whole team that even when she had been having fun, she wasn't really, really letting herself have fun. This year, a lot of things had been... fun. Helping Thor, becoming superheroes for a while, meeting the famous Russian scientist and getting to show her up... it had been a great year, as a matter of fact.

Despite the zay'tarc incident. Or maybe even because of it. They had both acknowledged the existence of... something... between them, and they hadn't been fired, reassigned, or even reprimanded. She suddenly realized the zay'tarc incident was the reason they were standing so far apart. It hadn't been easy before not to talk about their little 'tradition,' but the whole zay'tarc thing had made it impossible to just keep pretending it was nothing more than a tradition and a physical attraction. She knew they needed to talk. Not that this was necessarily a bad thing, just something they were both very good at avoiding. She finally decided to voice the question she had been shoving to the back of her mind for four years.

"Why today?"

He was about to play dumb, she could tell, even from across the roof with the only light coming from the street lamps below. He changed his mind and shrugged. "That's just the way it happened. The first time. So after that..."

"We had to keep it... the same," she finished.

"Yeah," he agreed.

"Why... I mean we never... it's always been... I mean you have a birthday too," she finally said in a rush.

"Yeah but I don't like to celebrate it. And I always thought... I wouldn't be able to handle anything... more. Without need... I mean wanting... more."

He'd _always _thought that? That was... interesting information to have. She couldn't help it. She had to press the question just a little bit. He was being fairly open, especially for him, and it was her birthday after all. She didn't think he'd refuse to talk on her birthday if that's what she wanted.

"More... holidays?" she asked casually.

"If it started off as just your birthday. Then mine. From there it would be Christmas," he said simply, not sounding embarrassed or uncomfortable at all. Not doubtful either. He was just stating a fact. And she knew he was right.

"Then New Year's," she supplied.

He nodded. "Valentine's Day."

"St. Patrick's."

"Well, I _am _Irish," he agreed. They both started taking small steps towards each other with each new holiday they named. "Easter."

"Memorial Day."

"Fourth of July."

"Labor Day."

"Halloween."

"Thanksgiving."

"Uh... Arbor Day?" he tried with a grin.

She laughed. They were face to face now, and she had forgotten at what point naming all the holidays they could think of had turned into something like... foreplay.

"Martin Luther King Day," she tried, sure she knew plenty more holidays than he did.

"President's Day," he countered easily.

"Pi Day."

"There's a pie day? How come we don't celebrate that in the commissary?" he asked, breaking the mood somewhat.

She shook her head. "_PI_ day. The number, not the dessert."

"There's a Pi Day?" he repeated, looking slightly disgusted at the mere thought.

"March 14," she admitted sheepishly.

"Geek," he said affectionately. "Okay then... Armed Forces Day."

"Good one. Astronomy day."

He rolled his eyes but didn't challenge it. "Earth Day."

"Moon Day."

"National Crazy Horse Day," he deadpanned.

"You made that up," she accused.

"September 6," he said with a smug smirk.

She made a mental note to check on that later and thought quickly. "Uh, National Mole Day."

He raised both eyebrows and said, "Will we be seeing your mysterious mole on National Mole Day?"

"Not that kind of mole. Avogrado's number."

"Hmm. We'll see about that. National Hunting and Fishing Day. September 25," he added before she could challenge it.

"Nobel Prize Day."

"Uhhh..." he stalled as he tried to think of another holiday.

"Time's up."

"No, wait. Umm..." He suddenly shook his head in frustration and said, "Screw this. Tuesdays, Wednesdays, whatever."

She barely had time to be surprised before he was kissing her with more urgency and desperation than any of their other kisses. Actually, than any other kiss she'd ever had, period. Once she recovered from the initial shock of the sudden contact, she was flooded with sensations and emotions as his hands roamed her back and he pulled her even closer to him.

Then just as suddenly as he had initiated the kiss, it changed completely, and became so slow and gentle that she would have pulled apart to ask if he was okay, but then the kiss would be over, and that wouldn't do at all. Then she figured it out, it would take them a lot longer to run out of breath at this pace than the fevered initial pace.

The kiss was still searching, demanding, and inquisitive, but no longer out of control. That made sense, she thought randomly. It was right. It was how they were when they weren't kissing, after all.

It still had to end eventually. But before she could let it end, she needed it to be out of control one more time. She slid her hands underneath his sweatshirt and tee-shirt, her palms tingling at the warmth of his back, and hoped the gasp against her mouth wasn't because her hands were cold. Somehow she doubted that was the reason. He reacted exactly as she knew he would, abruptly tipping her head back and kissing her with a renewed urgency. They both gave up thinking about what they were doing and just let it happen, until the kiss died out on its own because it simply had to.

They clung tightly to each other, gasping for breath. "See... why we can't... do that... more than once... a year," he finally got out.

She couldn't help laughing as she nodded her agreement. Each year it was getting harder and harder to stop what they started. Even as all of her senses were still working to process the full-blown attack they'd just received, at the back of her mind she realized next year was going to be even worse. She shivered at the mixed excitement and fear that caused.

"Cold?" he asked, his breathing now back under control.

"No," she answered, snuggling closer in his embrace anyway.

He sighed and cupped the back of her head in his hand. It was a gesture she'd seen him do to both Daniel and Teal'c, and he'd done it with her as well, and something in her forced her to ask, "Do you think it would be better if we... stopped?"

"No," he said firmly.

How could he be so sure about that?

He must have sensed that she didn't believe him because he said, "Maybe if it had never happened in the first place, _maybe _we'd be... better off. Or maybe the constant uncertainty would have driven us both crazy by now."

"What do you mean?"

"You know... the tension. But now, we know the tension is there for a damn good reason. If we had never kissed, I know I'd be spending half my time trying to convince myself it could never really be as good as I was imagining, and the other half... well... imagining."

She lifted her head off his shoulder and looked at him in surprise. He gave her an unapologetic smile and said, "I'm just saying. That's what I think. But that doesn't matter anyway because we've already been doing this for four years and I don't know about you, but I know that for me, if we didn't have this... standing appointment or whatever... sometimes I don't really know if I would make it through the rest of the year."

She took a deep breath and put her head back on his shoulder, partly because it was comforting, partly because then she wouldn't have to look him in the eye. He was right. She hated it when he was right.

"I'm sorry I got us into this mess," he finally said.

"It's not your fault."

"Maybe. But still. If you want to stop, it's... it's okay. Well, not okay, but... I'll do it."

"I don't want to."

"Okay. Good. Me neither." He squeezed her shoulders and reluctantly put some space between their bodies for the first time in ages. "Someday it will be different," he said, looking more serious and intense than she had ever seen him.

"I can tell you one thing though," he added, the old playful smirk creeping back into his voice and onto his face.

"What?"

"Next year, whatever I plan, it's going to involve a _lot _more distractions."

She laughed and picked up the blanket that had fallen to the ground.

"I'm serious," he insisted. "Maybe I'll hire a clown."

"Daniel's scared of them," Sam put in as he put an arm around her and guided her over to the trap door.

"Okay then a magician. Or TWO magicians. Or something."

"Well, good thing you have a whole year to think about it then," she said lightly as she started down the ladder.

"Yup. Good thing," he agreed, following after her.

-

They went back into the living room in full stealth-mode, just in case anybody was awake. Daniel was still snoring, Janet was motionless on the couch, and Cassie seemed to be asleep as well. Jack watched Sam climb into her sleeping bag and frowned at his. Cassie was the only thing between them but she seemed so far away.

He stretched out on top of his sleeping bag for a few seconds experimentally and made a command decision. He got up and kicked his bag out of the way, grabbed the edges of Cassie's, and slid her over next to Daniel, occupying his old spot. He nodded in satisfaction when Cassie didn't wake up, spread his own bag back out in Cassie's spot, climbed into it, and turned onto his side facing Sam, who had watched the whole thing with amusement and a healthy dose of excitement she was trying (and failing) to hide.

He smiled at her, and before she could object had slid her over to him as well, hugging her tightly through her thick sleeping bag. She raised an eyebrow at him and he shrugged. "If anybody wakes up before us, just act like you're just as surprised as they are," he instructed. She smiled and nodded before turning on her other side to go to sleep. That gave him room to pull her a bit closer as well.

Just as her breathing started to even out, he kissed the back of her head and said, "Happy Birthday, Carter."

She smiled into her pillow and said, "Thank you, sir."

-

The end.


	9. Epilogue: Effects

A/N: This epilogue doesn't mean the series is over, not by a long shot. I just had a couple of random ideas that didn't fit as adequate endings but had to occur after the end of the party.

Epilogue: Effects

Sam groaned as the doorbell to her house rang. It was five o'clock in the evening, but she still had a hangover from the night before. She, Cassie, and Daniel had all slept almost until noon. When they had woken up, Daniel had been horrified, as he was supposed to be submitting a report to General Hammond by the end of the day and he still had a lot of work to do. He had showered quickly, bolted down some eggs and toast, and hurried to the base, looking like something that shouldn't be allowed out in direct sunlight.

Sam had moved much more slowly. She'd taken a shower there, worked her way steadily through several cups of coffee and as much aspirin as she could negotiate from Janet, and left around two so that she could try to get rid of her hangover before dinner with her father.

"Bet this brings back memories of college, huh, Carter?" her CO had teased her as she and Janet had been discussing how best to hide the way she was feeling from her Dad.

"High school too," she had answered, just to get to him.

-

The doorbell rang again and she called, "I'm coming!" as she made her way to the door. She was dressed for dinner already, and had on more makeup than she'd worn in a long time trying to hide how tired and pale she was.

"Hi, Sam, Happy Birthday!" her dad said enthusiastically, pulling her into a bone-crushing hug. Sometimes he still misjudged his Tok'ra-enhanced strength.

"Thanks, Dad," she said, coughing slightly. "Ready to go?"

"Sure."

"Who dropped you off?"

"Lieutenant Simmons. He has a crush on you."

"Why does everyone say... never mind. Let's just go eat."

-

As Sam cut up her dinner, she realized her dad was staring at her hands. A lot.

"Dad, what's wrong?" she asked.

"Your fingernails. They're weird."

She glanced down at her own hands and rolled her eyes. She'd forgotten about the manicure. The very messy manicure her CO had given her last night. Using five different colors of nail polish.

"Oh, I completely forgot about that," she said without thinking. "See, I was having a slumber party with Colonel O'Neill and..."

Her father spit his beer all over the table and started coughing.

Sam suddenly realized how her statement had probably sounded and damned her hangover to hell. "Dad, calm down, that's not what I meant," she said hastily. She resolved to strangle her CO the next time she saw him as she started trying to explain herself to her father.

-

Meanwhile, back at the base...

General Hammond groaned as he sorted through the massive stack of files Dr. Jackson had turned in an hour ago. He was going to be here all night going through this stuff... and it wasn't as if the long-term archaeological survey from P6X241 was a very interesting topic. He decided to start with the tape of the ruins, so he'd have a clue as to what structures Jackson was referring to in his report. He popped the tape in and sat back in his chair, glad that it was so comfortable.

He sat up abruptly as the tape began. He was not looking at old buildings from P6X241. He was looking at... his flagship team and his CMO... in pajamas... singing and dancing around. Well, well, well, he thought with a satisfied smile, chuckling to himself. Apparently Dr. Jackson had got his tapes mixed up. Hammond watched the tape for a few minutes before rewinding it all the way. This was going to be good. He'd have to make a copy of this ASAP, as well, and maybe figure out a way to slip it back into Dr. Jackson's office so they didn't know he had it. This could prove invaluable.

-

Early Monday morning, Teal'c was trying hard not to smile, which normally wasn't an issue for him. He waited patiently for O'Neill in the locker room, knowing the man would soon be appearing to change into his uniform for the day. Teal'c had been confused by Cassandra Fraiser's odd instructions for him, but found the idea to be most humorous once she explained its context to him.

He was not dissapointed.

Jack O'Neill sauntered into the locker room, greeting him enthusiastically, and went over to his locker. As he opened it, a sea of stuffed animals of various sizes fell out, cascading all around him. They were all raccoons.

At the look on O'Neill's face, Teal'c laughed, and once he started he could not stop. Laughing harder since he had done at his own joke a few years ago that nobody else had understood, he watched as O'Neill stared at the pile of raccoons around his feet for several long moments. Finally, he sighed deeply and began getting dressed as though nothing unusual had happened, and raccoons were routinely falling out of his locker.

"So, T, breakfast?" he asked mildly after he finished dressing.

Teal'c nodded and they headed out of the locker room. Only then did O'Neill say quietly, "I am going to kill that girl."

-

Twenty minutes later,Sam, Jack, and Teal'c were all sitting in the commissary eating breakfast when Daniel rushed in, panting. "Woa, easy there Danny boy," Jack said, handing him a glass of water.

Daniel drained it and gasped, "The General... tape... sorry..."

"What? Daniel, breathe," Sam said gently, pushing out a chair for him. He sank into it and took a few seconds to compose himself.

"Daniel Jackson, speak," Teal'c instructed.

"Right. I... I went to put the micro cassette from our party onto the end of the tape from the first one and... it wasn't the right tape. It was the tape of the ruins from P6X241. When I... when I put together that report for Hammond I must have given him the wrong tape..."

Everyone was completely frozen, looking at Daniel in complete shock and horror. This was bad... this was terrible.. "So you're saying the General..." Sam started, too mortified to even finish his sentence. .

"Has the tape from our slumber party," Daniel finished grimly.

-

A/N: Thanks for the enthusiastic interest in this story and series, everyone. I hope I made you smile. Next is an intermission of sorts from the regular stories - a short one called Jack's Day. Story ID: 2276143


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